I know this post comes way later than it should’ve been and I am extremely sorry for that. I have been feeling quite down lately and add work deadlines and no laptop to work on to the list, you have my reasons. But we can talk about my feelings later and start concentrating on my journaling journey instead? Also because this is almost the end of February, I have decided to give you an update for both Jan and Feb at the same time, because otherwise, Feb’s update might come only in April. (Yes, I know. Please don’t frown.)
If you’ve been following me on any social media including this blog, then you should’ve known that I am a huge journal fan. I am always searching for journaling ideas, lettering ideas, quotes, doodles and what not. I am always dreaming about journaling. And I try doing it as much as possible. If you have read my post about Tracking 2016, then you’d known that one of my goals for this year is obviously journaling like it was in 2016.
My journals usually consist of jotting down what I feel at that particular moment. I would just write, write and write. Pour out my feelings, calm myself down. It then also started including lettering of the quotes I loved and one-liners I thought of. It, after finally deciding to give it a go after a friend’s suggestion, included doodles. On the other hand, I have always loved notebooks. I am always buying one or eyeing to buy one. I currently must have three unused notebooks and plenty of used ones. I also don’t like throwing the notebooks away. After carrying one notebook for notes and points, one planner and one journal, I decided to combine the planner and the journal from January. I decided to make it with a twist.
I, at first, painted my cover page black, made a calendar and started making to-do lists and started maintaining logs. But halfway through I realized that this wasn’t going my way. I didn’t give up though. I journaled my way out of January. When I got off social media for a while, journaling helped me keep sane. I went back to basics, writing down what I was feeling even when I didn’t know what I was feeling, and doodling when words failed me.
I wrote quotes. I wrote poems. I drew Kathmandu because I wasn’t able to map it properly. I told myself it was okay to breakdown at times if I remembered to get back up again. But mostly, I wrote about Ama. The lessons I learnt from her and the dreams I was having with her. And I didn’t ever finish the cover page. My idea was to draw stars and rockets, giving it a tribute to Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, because I thought January would be a new hope. But alas, January became a month of facing everything I hated – deadlines, assignments, applications and paperworks. And the cover page remained a black page. Probably a reminder about the dark days that were to come.
Now February was completely a different story. I forgot to make a cover page, my calendar was all wrong, and I stopped making to-do lists and keeping logs. February was the month where I drowned myself into emptiness. So I wrote about it. I tried defining emptiness like it was my favorite word. I tried to figure out what was wrong with me, by simply writing about it. I wrote reminders to self, about not losing hope and not giving up.
I took part in a sharing session about planners and told everyone what I learnt about from my January experience and how February would be all different. I had separated the pages so that it would be an organised chaos. But I didn’t even log or plan for more than ten days. I started two journal projects, one about my recent travel to Kuala Lumpur and Singapore and a joint one on what I needed to communicate but both are still on hold. More about these journals on project update post later, i.e. if i ever finish them.
I am still experimenting with my journaling and learning new things everyday. And what I like it seems to change everyday too. But hopefully, in March, I will be more consistent. And hopefully by the end of the year, I would have found my own style. If you have a journal too, then please tell me how do you do it.